Summer Semester! Yippee!!

I made it through one of the most “interesting” weeks of my uneventful life! So glad it’s behind me and I am looking forward to moving forward. As I’ve mentioned, summer semester begins tomorrow. Last night I perused my Syllabi (?).. is this a word??… for my classes. What is the plural of syllabus? N-E-Way… I have Management by Menu, which helps me understand how to write menus from both a marketing and cost efficiency perspective; how to calculate ingredients to increase or decrease yield; wine and food pairings, etc. Soooooo excited about that! Also have Sustainable Purchasing – that will help me spend my dollars in a smart way. I see that I will also be working to develop my mission statement, which as you know, is a major part of a business plan. And for a little spice, I have Latin Cuisine, where I will be cooking all things Caliente! Latin food with an Afro twist??! How can I go wrong?

Hovering in the background is this constant battle between managing home and attaining my goal. As I mentioned in one of my first blogs, it is difficult to make both situations the priority; one will suffer. And so it has come to pass. In all fairness to my particular situation, I have not learned how to do both. It’s just how I’m wired. If my focus is on a relationship, then I give it 200%. I live and breathe “it” to consistently do things to better that relationship. Am I affectionate enough, am I listening to his needs, his dreams, am I supportive enough, am I on top of my game? Is he happy? Am I happy? But, it’s the same with anything I undertake. In my case, it happens to be all things culinary. I want to give it 200%. I live and breathe “it” to consistently do things to better my skills and knowledge. I read articles, watch cooking shows, cook books, research chefs and recipes online, and stay up on restaurant and food trends. Am I on top of my game? Am I happy? I wish I knew how to have both – the relationship and the dream fulfilled, but I am only human. I fall short of this. I think it will be a little more organic for me. When it is meant to be, it will happen. I won’t have to answer these questions because it will just “be”.

I can do Motherhood; I’ve done this all of my adult life. I’ve learned how to work this in and have it remain top priority… well, my daughter’s might argue that I really haven’t (nervous smile).. but the point is, you honestly have to have laser sharp focus on your dreams. Keep them on the radar and in clear view. That’s why Vision Boards work so well. You have to have one and look at it on regular basis. Use it like a magic potion to ward off the DISTRACTIONS… they come in all sizes, shapes and forms – sometimes you don’t even see them coming.

Well, jumping off the soapbox for now. Thanks for listening to me vent. This blogging stuff is much cheaper than formal therapy… takes me a minute to unwind and open up, but once I start writing, it really feels good it get this stuff off my chest. And here you thought you were just going to read about my journey to restaurant ownership! Well, guess what? This is my reality and everything I share with you, is my journey. I hope you will be with me when I reach the end. We’ll celebrate – eat good food, drink good wine, laugh about my ups and downs, and dance ‘til dawn!

Restaurant or Relationship?

One thing has been consistent in all of my research findings. The big question. “Are you willing to sacrifice your personal relationships?” I have come to understand why this question is so important. My recommendation: if you are not in a well-established relationship, don’t start one until you have made it across the finish line. By “well-established” I mean, a relationship which has already gone through several ups and downs and has survived.

Putting in the hours required to be a good chef – the hours in school, the hours of working for free (aka, Internships, which is a foreign language to your mate), and the limited time and desire you may have to invest in a relationship you may experience while focusing on the prize – will obviously take away the time and focus someone may need in the nurturing phase of a new relationship. DON’T DO IT. There will be days, sometimes weeks, when all you want is time and space alone.

Keeping my relationship together has been the most difficult part of this process so far. The bickering, arguing... you just don’t need it while you are trying to reach your dream. Unless your partner is in a similar business, s/he won’t understand what you are going through and trying to make them understand is fruitless. Your strength and determination will be tested time and time again. So, when you are faced with the big question, give it a lot of thought before answering.