I think I need to take yet another communications class. Seriously. I’ve taken classes, workshops, gone to seminars on the subject… learned to listen with my whole body, making sure the party on the receiving or giving end of the exchange is getting the information they need to make an informed rebuttal or acceptance… I ask all the appropriate questions, ones which are on subject and related to the matter at hand… I observe body language to gage if the conversation should continue or be paused for discussion at another time.. maybe a time when less emotion is infused. So, where am I going with this?
Well, these things said, I have to tell you that I have explained ‘ad nauseam’ to those close to me, that during this time in my life – with school, work and project|career goals, there is simply no “spare” time. I am not doing a very good job of getting them to take me serious. While I understand that everyone needs a little R&R, I am also aware that if you are serious about a thing, that you must be FOCUSED… not just focused, but laser focused. You can’t allow temptations like invitations for socializing or mini-vacations to become a detour or distraction. I have pleaded to be left alone for a time so that I can focus on my priorities, yet every other day or so, I am asked to attend one event or another… do this or that… and all from the same individual! PLEASE.
If I appear to be “idle” it’s because I am thinking of a menu, a recipe or trying to map out a homework project in my head… I am thinking about something I prepared at the restaurant, and wondering if I could have plated it better… I am thinking about the homework I haven’t finished, AND trying to figure out when I can carve out time to fold the mound of clean clothes which have been sitting of the upstairs sofa for weeks now…How can I get money to buy restaurant supplies or give my Mom the time and attention she needs during this transition in her life. You get the point, don’t you?
With the exception of handling my Mom’s needs, all of these things are ‘self-inflicted’. The operative being “self”. These are matters that I have personally chosen for myself; for my happiness and feeling of satisfaction. These are matters that I have thought long and hard about – I’ve thought about the sacrifices, the trade-offs and the downside. Believe me, I’ve taken it all into consideration.
If I am not happy with myself, you will NEVER be happy with me. I will begin to resent you, seeing you only as the person who worked against my having what I needed to be happy and will hate myself for allowing you to do this to me. I can not love you, until I can love me first. May I suggest a communications workshop for you?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Po'Boyz, Bananas and Yield
Well… were did I leave off? Seems so long since my last entry.
Life seems to be moving along. I am toggling between planning for the Banana Festival, home and school. It’s a lot. Oh, and work… almost forgot! Last week I was hired by Po’Boyz in Folsom, CA to work Friday & Saturday nights. It’s typical bar food with a little southern and Cajun meals sprinkled in. The proprietor, Brenda Taylor, is an amazing woman and I love the gig so far. The commute – well, that’s a challenge, but it’s nice getting out to work. I understand they do a mean “Soul Food Sunday”. Brenda was readying for menu choices when I left Saturday nite, to include Greens, Cabbage, Smothered Pork Chops, Turkey Wings & Gravy, and Red Beans, along with her standard offerings! If you like good music (Blues & Jazz), fun people and decent drinks, then please stop by. We could use your support. . http://www.poboyzbarandgrill.com/
It’s no wonder my eye lids are feeling a bit heavy as I make this entry I realize I’m doing a little much… Jeeze!
School is no longer fun. (Yikes!!) Nothing but culinary calculations to memorize and formulas to learn.. What is this foreign language she speaks??? Food Cost Percentage? Standardized Recipes? Portions? Original Yield? Desired Yield? AP vs. EP amounts? Math… are you talkin’ bout MATH??! C’mon, Lady! I just wanna cook!!
The Banana Festival plans are coming together. Have my commercial kitchen reserved… My tent and equipment on the radar.. bought a cash register this weekend (whoo-hoo!!). Truck reserved… menu tighten up, grocery list done. Still trying to pull a decent staff together. ANYBODY want to work??? How can you ask people to work their butts off for minimal or no pay? I have to trust that they will still love me when this is over, because it is a lot of work. So goes the restaurant business… hard work, little pay. But I know it will be well worth it… all my friends and family will come by… right??? RIGHT??!
Signing off. Time to rest these tired eyes.
Life seems to be moving along. I am toggling between planning for the Banana Festival, home and school. It’s a lot. Oh, and work… almost forgot! Last week I was hired by Po’Boyz in Folsom, CA to work Friday & Saturday nights. It’s typical bar food with a little southern and Cajun meals sprinkled in. The proprietor, Brenda Taylor, is an amazing woman and I love the gig so far. The commute – well, that’s a challenge, but it’s nice getting out to work. I understand they do a mean “Soul Food Sunday”. Brenda was readying for menu choices when I left Saturday nite, to include Greens, Cabbage, Smothered Pork Chops, Turkey Wings & Gravy, and Red Beans, along with her standard offerings! If you like good music (Blues & Jazz), fun people and decent drinks, then please stop by. We could use your support. . http://www.poboyzbarandgrill.com/
It’s no wonder my eye lids are feeling a bit heavy as I make this entry I realize I’m doing a little much… Jeeze!
School is no longer fun. (Yikes!!) Nothing but culinary calculations to memorize and formulas to learn.. What is this foreign language she speaks??? Food Cost Percentage? Standardized Recipes? Portions? Original Yield? Desired Yield? AP vs. EP amounts? Math… are you talkin’ bout MATH??! C’mon, Lady! I just wanna cook!!
The Banana Festival plans are coming together. Have my commercial kitchen reserved… My tent and equipment on the radar.. bought a cash register this weekend (whoo-hoo!!). Truck reserved… menu tighten up, grocery list done. Still trying to pull a decent staff together. ANYBODY want to work??? How can you ask people to work their butts off for minimal or no pay? I have to trust that they will still love me when this is over, because it is a lot of work. So goes the restaurant business… hard work, little pay. But I know it will be well worth it… all my friends and family will come by… right??? RIGHT??!
Signing off. Time to rest these tired eyes.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
School, Wonderful... Life... not so much
Well folks, yesterday was everything I wanted and more with regard to school. We went over the syllabus and I was excited to hear our instructor reiterate the subject matter for the semester, especially since I have already done a majority of the work. Menu development, restaurant theme/Mission Statement... I got this, sistah!
The fun was in coming home. The merging of two families is never seamless, and my situation is no different. Still grappling with a new relationship, marriage and child guardianship -- all within 9 months!! Add to that, having my lovelies home for the summer and blending the three ladies together with a new living situation... it's not pretty. I feel as if I'm being pulled 20 different ways, and no one is happy with part of me they get... nothing is enough, nothing is good enough. So, I sit here in this coffee house, wishing I could get on a plane and fly away. Where? Anywhere. It is in times like these that I realize how naive I really am.
I'm thinking at this point, it may be time to take a step back. Get myself a little studio in midtown, focus on school and the possibility of owning my own business. There are 7 days in a week... each daughter gets a day; Mom gets 1... that leaves me 3 days for school and myself. "Mommy-Daddy" relationship will have to be "suspended" until I finish school or visited between semester breaks. Sounds like a business... don't really like that. I'm very organic in the way I operate... this feels like scheduling and time constraints, which don't feel good to me... Oh, it will all work out. My daughters are very important to me. This I am clear on. Nothing means more... Heck, they are the reasons I have waited until this point in my life to go back to school... Don't they understand that?
The fun was in coming home. The merging of two families is never seamless, and my situation is no different. Still grappling with a new relationship, marriage and child guardianship -- all within 9 months!! Add to that, having my lovelies home for the summer and blending the three ladies together with a new living situation... it's not pretty. I feel as if I'm being pulled 20 different ways, and no one is happy with part of me they get... nothing is enough, nothing is good enough. So, I sit here in this coffee house, wishing I could get on a plane and fly away. Where? Anywhere. It is in times like these that I realize how naive I really am.
I'm thinking at this point, it may be time to take a step back. Get myself a little studio in midtown, focus on school and the possibility of owning my own business. There are 7 days in a week... each daughter gets a day; Mom gets 1... that leaves me 3 days for school and myself. "Mommy-Daddy" relationship will have to be "suspended" until I finish school or visited between semester breaks. Sounds like a business... don't really like that. I'm very organic in the way I operate... this feels like scheduling and time constraints, which don't feel good to me... Oh, it will all work out. My daughters are very important to me. This I am clear on. Nothing means more... Heck, they are the reasons I have waited until this point in my life to go back to school... Don't they understand that?
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Summer Semester! Yippee!!
I made it through one of the most “interesting” weeks of my uneventful life! So glad it’s behind me and I am looking forward to moving forward. As I’ve mentioned, summer semester begins tomorrow. Last night I perused my Syllabi (?).. is this a word??… for my classes. What is the plural of syllabus? N-E-Way… I have Management by Menu, which helps me understand how to write menus from both a marketing and cost efficiency perspective; how to calculate ingredients to increase or decrease yield; wine and food pairings, etc. Soooooo excited about that! Also have Sustainable Purchasing – that will help me spend my dollars in a smart way. I see that I will also be working to develop my mission statement, which as you know, is a major part of a business plan. And for a little spice, I have Latin Cuisine, where I will be cooking all things Caliente! Latin food with an Afro twist??! How can I go wrong?
Hovering in the background is this constant battle between managing home and attaining my goal. As I mentioned in one of my first blogs, it is difficult to make both situations the priority; one will suffer. And so it has come to pass. In all fairness to my particular situation, I have not learned how to do both. It’s just how I’m wired. If my focus is on a relationship, then I give it 200%. I live and breathe “it” to consistently do things to better that relationship. Am I affectionate enough, am I listening to his needs, his dreams, am I supportive enough, am I on top of my game? Is he happy? Am I happy? But, it’s the same with anything I undertake. In my case, it happens to be all things culinary. I want to give it 200%. I live and breathe “it” to consistently do things to better my skills and knowledge. I read articles, watch cooking shows, cook books, research chefs and recipes online, and stay up on restaurant and food trends. Am I on top of my game? Am I happy? I wish I knew how to have both – the relationship and the dream fulfilled, but I am only human. I fall short of this. I think it will be a little more organic for me. When it is meant to be, it will happen. I won’t have to answer these questions because it will just “be”.
I can do Motherhood; I’ve done this all of my adult life. I’ve learned how to work this in and have it remain top priority… well, my daughter’s might argue that I really haven’t (nervous smile).. but the point is, you honestly have to have laser sharp focus on your dreams. Keep them on the radar and in clear view. That’s why Vision Boards work so well. You have to have one and look at it on regular basis. Use it like a magic potion to ward off the DISTRACTIONS… they come in all sizes, shapes and forms – sometimes you don’t even see them coming.
Well, jumping off the soapbox for now. Thanks for listening to me vent. This blogging stuff is much cheaper than formal therapy… takes me a minute to unwind and open up, but once I start writing, it really feels good it get this stuff off my chest. And here you thought you were just going to read about my journey to restaurant ownership! Well, guess what? This is my reality and everything I share with you, is my journey. I hope you will be with me when I reach the end. We’ll celebrate – eat good food, drink good wine, laugh about my ups and downs, and dance ‘til dawn!
Hovering in the background is this constant battle between managing home and attaining my goal. As I mentioned in one of my first blogs, it is difficult to make both situations the priority; one will suffer. And so it has come to pass. In all fairness to my particular situation, I have not learned how to do both. It’s just how I’m wired. If my focus is on a relationship, then I give it 200%. I live and breathe “it” to consistently do things to better that relationship. Am I affectionate enough, am I listening to his needs, his dreams, am I supportive enough, am I on top of my game? Is he happy? Am I happy? But, it’s the same with anything I undertake. In my case, it happens to be all things culinary. I want to give it 200%. I live and breathe “it” to consistently do things to better my skills and knowledge. I read articles, watch cooking shows, cook books, research chefs and recipes online, and stay up on restaurant and food trends. Am I on top of my game? Am I happy? I wish I knew how to have both – the relationship and the dream fulfilled, but I am only human. I fall short of this. I think it will be a little more organic for me. When it is meant to be, it will happen. I won’t have to answer these questions because it will just “be”.
I can do Motherhood; I’ve done this all of my adult life. I’ve learned how to work this in and have it remain top priority… well, my daughter’s might argue that I really haven’t (nervous smile).. but the point is, you honestly have to have laser sharp focus on your dreams. Keep them on the radar and in clear view. That’s why Vision Boards work so well. You have to have one and look at it on regular basis. Use it like a magic potion to ward off the DISTRACTIONS… they come in all sizes, shapes and forms – sometimes you don’t even see them coming.
Well, jumping off the soapbox for now. Thanks for listening to me vent. This blogging stuff is much cheaper than formal therapy… takes me a minute to unwind and open up, but once I start writing, it really feels good it get this stuff off my chest. And here you thought you were just going to read about my journey to restaurant ownership! Well, guess what? This is my reality and everything I share with you, is my journey. I hope you will be with me when I reach the end. We’ll celebrate – eat good food, drink good wine, laugh about my ups and downs, and dance ‘til dawn!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Losing my Faith
I've had better days. Getting anxious about getting started with my own spot, as well as the Banana Festival, but they seem to be slipping further and further away. I've tried to exercise a bit of patience with the BBQ joint, but they just can seem to get their stuff together. Still no word from the B&B, so I'm back to square one.
Every day presents another unplanned problem and I am losing my faith in all things possible. Seriously. I didn't sign up for this.
School starts next week and I will lose myself in it. It will be my salvation.
Today presented a little more than I can bare. I am having a triple shot of something -- anything -- and calling it a day.
Every day presents another unplanned problem and I am losing my faith in all things possible. Seriously. I didn't sign up for this.
School starts next week and I will lose myself in it. It will be my salvation.
Today presented a little more than I can bare. I am having a triple shot of something -- anything -- and calling it a day.
4th of July
I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe 4th. I enjoyed a wonderful day on the 3rd in San Francisco and on the 4th, Charles and I had a few friends and family over to help celebrate the holiday. Our menu: Spare Ribs, Lobster, Grilled Shrimp, Tri-Tip, Chicken, Beef Hot Links, Grilled Zucchini, Corn, BBQ Beans, Deviled Eggs, Potato Salad and of course, Sweet Potato Pie! Shaun was our mixologist, and kept the fresh, fruity drinks coming. She introduced us to Moscow Mules -- mannn, were they delicious!
I have posted a few pictures. You may recognize a few folks in the photos! Kim & Travis, Shaun, Katie, Princess, Charles, Carol, "Mom", and VaLinda. Cousin Joey made a surprise appearance, but I failed to snap shots of him (sad). Carol & Richmon stopped by for a minute, but had to hit the road back to the Pennisula.
Friday, July 1, 2011
This Week, Lord...
Friday, July 1, 2011
What a week it’s been folks. The Universe has truly tried my patience. I mean, REALLY tried to see how much BS I can take. First of all, my venture with the merger of Johnny Broadway’s and Paper Plates swung into full gear. Problem #1, no inventory. Johnny and I went in together and unloaded our pockets at Restaurant Depo, Cash & Carry and Smart ‘N Final. Stocking up, esp. from scratch, is NO JOKE! Ok, with that behind us, the following day we attempt to open for business. Problem #2. No bank… no money in the register, folks! Jeezus!
Spent the majority of the day just scrubbing, cleaning and organizing things. Is this my restaurant?? Really? Why am I doing all this??? The rub is that I can bitch and moan, but I can’t go home complaining. No comforting shoulder waiting there. Husband doesn’t want me here in the first place, and doesn’t understand my logic. Can't get him to see that I have got to do the proverbial ‘chitterlin’ circuit’ in order to keep my name out there. Work anywhere, is better than no work, no where. Also, I have to make and save money for the prize – my very own business, whatever that means. So I am willing to put in the money, elbow grease and time… even if it means that friends and relations are seldom seen during this time. It’s my sacrifice to make.
Yesterday, we barely made $100. Today, maybe $200… We have a clear understanding that my receipts will be reimbursed, first and foremost; I find comfort in that -- then we can move on to the business of things. I am optimistic that things will get better. School starts in a few weeks, so in the meantime this gives me something to do. Sitting home all day, picking up behind folks (and they know who they are) is NOT the business. When I’m away, I don’t have time to focus on who left the dirty bowls in the cold dish water, or who left out the cheese and crackers… or the endless sea of wine and cocktail glasses which seem to multiply on the counter…
Daughter flew home today from Paris… drama already. She refused my offer to make arrangements to pick her up from SFO, and is now upset because she didn’t get picked up. Go figure. I'm glad she's home, even though... I am looking forward to tomorrow, when I can just relax. Going to SF Fillmore Blues and Jazz Festival. That should be fun. Good music, good food… happy to be leaving Cow Town for a minute!!
Happy 4th!! Be safe.
What a week it’s been folks. The Universe has truly tried my patience. I mean, REALLY tried to see how much BS I can take. First of all, my venture with the merger of Johnny Broadway’s and Paper Plates swung into full gear. Problem #1, no inventory. Johnny and I went in together and unloaded our pockets at Restaurant Depo, Cash & Carry and Smart ‘N Final. Stocking up, esp. from scratch, is NO JOKE! Ok, with that behind us, the following day we attempt to open for business. Problem #2. No bank… no money in the register, folks! Jeezus!
Spent the majority of the day just scrubbing, cleaning and organizing things. Is this my restaurant?? Really? Why am I doing all this??? The rub is that I can bitch and moan, but I can’t go home complaining. No comforting shoulder waiting there. Husband doesn’t want me here in the first place, and doesn’t understand my logic. Can't get him to see that I have got to do the proverbial ‘chitterlin’ circuit’ in order to keep my name out there. Work anywhere, is better than no work, no where. Also, I have to make and save money for the prize – my very own business, whatever that means. So I am willing to put in the money, elbow grease and time… even if it means that friends and relations are seldom seen during this time. It’s my sacrifice to make.
Yesterday, we barely made $100. Today, maybe $200… We have a clear understanding that my receipts will be reimbursed, first and foremost; I find comfort in that -- then we can move on to the business of things. I am optimistic that things will get better. School starts in a few weeks, so in the meantime this gives me something to do. Sitting home all day, picking up behind folks (and they know who they are) is NOT the business. When I’m away, I don’t have time to focus on who left the dirty bowls in the cold dish water, or who left out the cheese and crackers… or the endless sea of wine and cocktail glasses which seem to multiply on the counter…
Daughter flew home today from Paris… drama already. She refused my offer to make arrangements to pick her up from SFO, and is now upset because she didn’t get picked up. Go figure. I'm glad she's home, even though... I am looking forward to tomorrow, when I can just relax. Going to SF Fillmore Blues and Jazz Festival. That should be fun. Good music, good food… happy to be leaving Cow Town for a minute!!
Happy 4th!! Be safe.
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