Communication Makes the World of Difference

I think I need to take yet another communications class. Seriously. I’ve taken classes, workshops, gone to seminars on the subject… learned to listen with my whole body, making sure the party on the receiving or giving end of the exchange is getting the information they need to make an informed rebuttal or acceptance… I ask all the appropriate questions, ones which are on subject and related to the matter at hand… I observe body language to gage if the conversation should continue or be paused for discussion at another time.. maybe a time when less emotion is infused. So, where am I going with this?

Well, these things said, I have to tell you that I have explained ‘ad nauseam’ to those close to me, that during this time in my life – with school, work and project|career goals, there is simply no “spare” time. I am not doing a very good job of getting them to take me serious. While I understand that everyone needs a little R&R, I am also aware that if you are serious about a thing, that you must be FOCUSED… not just focused, but laser focused. You can’t allow temptations like invitations for socializing or mini-vacations to become a detour or distraction. I have pleaded to be left alone for a time so that I can focus on my priorities, yet every other day or so, I am asked to attend one event or another… do this or that… and all from the same individual! PLEASE.

If I appear to be “idle” it’s because I am thinking of a menu, a recipe or trying to map out a homework project in my head… I am thinking about something I prepared at the restaurant, and wondering if I could have plated it better… I am thinking about the homework I haven’t finished, AND trying to figure out when I can carve out time to fold the mound of clean clothes which have been sitting of the upstairs sofa for weeks now…How can I get money to buy restaurant supplies or give my Mom the time and attention she needs during this transition in her life. You get the point, don’t you?

With the exception of handling my Mom’s needs, all of these things are ‘self-inflicted’. The operative being “self”. These are matters that I have personally chosen for myself; for my happiness and feeling of satisfaction. These are matters that I have thought long and hard about – I’ve thought about the sacrifices, the trade-offs and the downside. Believe me, I’ve taken it all into consideration.

If I am not happy with myself, you will NEVER be happy with me. I will begin to resent you, seeing you only as the person who worked against my having what I needed to be happy and will hate myself for allowing you to do this to me. I can not love you, until I can love me first. May I suggest a communications workshop for you?